“Born to Run” (Bruce Springstein) There’s something about The Boss’s lyrics and the driving guitar rhythm that makes me want to SCREAM. I have visions of driving my Suicide Machine into a last-chance power drive, with some hot babe’s hands strapped across my engines. I challenge anyone to play this tune on the car stereo, and still drive [...]
Archive for July 2009
Music That Gives Me Goosebumps of Pleasure
July 30, 2009The Blue Crayon
July 29, 2009The blue crayon. That dreaded blue crayon. I remember it like it was yesterday. Never in the history of mankind, has a drawing implement generated such angst. It all started at a dinner/BBQ I was at. After the meal, we were chatting and having coffee, doing our typical boring adult stuff. The two young boys (who shall remain nameless) [...]
Screw-up
July 27, 2009I have a confession to make: I’m a screw-up. A big, fat, screw up. That is, if you listen to all my critics, I am. I don’t eat properly. I’m too fat. I need to exercise more and watch what I eat. My voice is too loud. I talk too much. I repeat my jokes. [...]
Zen Habits for Non-Zen Activities
July 24, 2009Zen Habits of Monster Trucks – Don’t try to drive the truck. BE the truck. – Keep it simple and avoid multitasking. Either capsize, or smash into your opponent. Don’t try to do both. – Remember to breathe deeply. This will empower you when yelling “YEEE-HAW!” – Respect the cars you destroy. Only run over [...]
One More Swim
July 22, 2009As the sad man donned his mask and snorkel and waded into the water, he thought: I’m lucky to be here. How many places are there, he wondered, where you can drive 2 minutes from your house and find such a sandy freshwater beach to swim in? Those poor bastards in Toronto drive hours [...]
What summer means to me.
July 21, 2009Summer here in Ontario means raspberries from my garden… Catching big fish and letting them go… Picking wild blueberries in the bush… And deerflies. Don’t forget the deerflies….
My All-Time Favorite Comments About My Weight Problem.
July 19, 20091. I’m watching two perfectly fit women lift their T-shirts to pinch the 1/4 inch of skin around their bellies. They oooh and ahhh about how “fat” they are. Really sensitive. Because it’s pretty damned obvious I’d be able to grab fistfuls on my own flab. Hel-Looo!. I’m standing right next to you! ************************ 2. My birthday party. The family is there [...]
Nothing is a Given (*)
July 16, 2009(*) Guest post written by Friar’s Mom (who I’m pleased to say is recovering quite nicely after a serious accident a month ago) *********************************** We go through the daily routines of our lives and take so many things for granted. I left my home on June 13, at 8:30, on a warm sunny Saturday. I [...]
NOOOOOOOOOoooooo!!!
July 15, 2009This came off my tree this week: FOR. CRYING. OUT. LOUD.
If Households Were Run The Way Large Corporations Are…
July 11, 2009At each and every weekly family meeting, the location of the front and back door is pointed out, in case of fire. (Just in case someone somehow forgets how to leave the house). Mom and Dad blow $10,000 on a weekend “retreat” at luxurious 5-star resort, for the purpose of “determining the family’s path forward”. [...]
